Membership in the Fathers of Lethargy is highly selective and strictly limited to candidates who can clearly demonstrate that they are a proven member of at least two of the following five United States Census Bureau test-approved demographic groups – motorcycle rider, father, mother, daughter or son. Membership in three of the five groups earns no additional Brownie points whatsoever and membership in four or more of the five groups generally arches a few eyebrows.
Dogs (but never cats or similar rodents) are permitted to ride in sidecars only in certain limited instances such as forest fires, parades, manhunts, bike rallies, pub crawls, spring break, etc. Birds are not allowed under any circumstances with the single exception of Pirate Bob’s little shoulder buddy, who, like Pirate Bob himself, is grandfathered.
The Fathers of Lethargy is always looking for a few good riders. Basic requirements include showing up and legging up. Additional talents which are always welcome include buying breakfast, choosing a route, retrieving parts that have fallen off a member’s Harley, accurately forecasting weather, video and/or still photography (particularly at highway speeds), map-reading, securing last-minute lodging reservations in the event of poor weather forecasting, buying lunch, reattaching parts that have fallen off a member’s Harley, identifying interesting bike rides and destinations, buying dinner, identifying obscure replacement parts for a member’s Harley, and sniffing out pancake breakfasts, rib joints, topless coffee shops, bail bondsmen and church suppers with equal aplomb.
The Fathers of Lethargy is a non-denominational, non-confrontational, largely non-irritational, non-IRS-approved, non-entity.