Join Us

Membership in the Fathers of Lethargy is highly selective and strictly limited to candidates who can clearly demonstrate that they are a proven member of at least two of the following five United States Census Bureau test-approved demographic groups – motorcycle rider, father, mother, daughter or son. Membership in three of the five groups earns no additional Brownie points whatsoever and membership in four or more of the five groups generally arches a few eyebrows.

Dogs (but never cats or similar rodents) are permitted to ride in sidecars only in certain limited instances such as forest fires, parades, manhunts, bike rallies, pub crawls, spring break, etc. Birds are not allowed under any circumstances with the single exception of Pirate Bob’s little shoulder buddy, who, like Pirate Bob himself, is grandfathered.

The Fathers of Lethargy is always looking for a few good riders. Basic requirements include showing up and legging up.  Additional talents which are always welcome include buying breakfast, choosing a route, retrieving parts that have fallen off a member’s Harley, accurately forecasting weather, video and/or still photography (particularly at highway speeds), map-reading, securing last-minute lodging reservations in the event of poor weather forecasting, buying lunch, reattaching parts that have fallen off a member’s Harley, identifying interesting bike rides and destinations, buying dinner, identifying obscure replacement parts for a member’s Harley, and sniffing out pancake breakfasts, rib joints, topless coffee shops, bail bondsmen and church suppers with equal aplomb.

The Fathers of Lethargy is a non-denominational, non-confrontational, largely non-irritational, non-IRS-approved, non-entity.

4 Responses to Join Us

  1. Pit Stop says:

    Now listen up Fathers , we’re missing the boat . Not only should we be incontinently muster up some babes , but babes of colour , any colour . Now that’s progressive thinking , not to mention politically correct in these times ! We might even be eligible for some lame-ass government program . Ya think ! In the endeavor to lower our standards to a new low ,we might be capable of new meliorate membership . This could start a new movement in the self-conceited biker (or bikeret) world , ya think ! I know this will be hard for some of us to digest , in one sitting , but it’s a win/ win situation . This is no time not to be progressive (backward ?) but to broaden our horizons . It will bring new meaning to “when the rubber hit’s the road” , no ? Well , that’s my take on it for now , unless there’s a more repulsive amendment to be made here . Fin .

  2. Pit Stop says:

    Caution / Disclaimer ; the following B S may cause minor cerebral virus to those at risk , read on at your discretion . If I were to reestablish myself under a “nom de guerre”, could I attain another vote (via e- mail , in cogneto) when the “Fathers” nominate our new “Father” of the year ? Try to remember , this is all hypothetical , I think .
    Also , we must continue our stride to lower our standards , ( ? ) our membership , or lack of , could be improved by some new blood . We must be more diverse , (not to be confused with divergent ) in the persevering of our lethargic endeavor of improving our head count . I’m of the opinion that we should consider the opposite sex , yes , a new take on biking , biking with babes , providing they qualify , here’s where standards count , ……….must own there own bike , real domicile (no trailers , not even permanent) be financially independent , be able to service her own machine , consume massive amounts of adult beverages (on her time & dime) buy lunch (NO road kill cafe’s) ,speak at least three languages , ( no HisSpannic or dialects , spell check here ?) don’t bitch , about anything , be dexterous (could come in handy), ready and willing (to pay) for beer runs and come back (same day sober), able to tell off-key jokes and recive them with regularity ,have lucrative endeavors , and be between 27 & 35 , absolutely no exceptions …………. I think . This should bring a new meaning to “hard on the trail” ! Ah , diversity , ya gotta love it !

    That’s my take on it , and I’m stikk’in with it . Fin .

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